Keeping The Main Thing The Main Thing 

“NOOO!!!” My Mom shouted.  Normally she was pretty mild mannered.  But now she was in the ICU after having a week-long series of chemo treatments.  She seemed somewhat out of her mind. In addition to cancer and chemo, at this point, she was also suffering from what they call ICU delirium.  Many patients in ICU get it due to the fact that they can’t get any sleep in ICU and they are typically on heavy medication. 

I was standing by Mom’s bedside.  Her mouth was full of sores from the chemo treatments so it

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The Waves of Grief 

Waves of grief have seemed to stir up again with near hurricane force winds.  The grief seemed to ramp back up last week as I was walking into Maryland Community Church to practice with the praise team for their women’s event.  Something about the weather that night felt like spring.  There was a gentle wind and the air was brisk...the same kind of weather we experienced last February and March while mom was still alive.  Weird how something like that can pick your mind up from the here and now and send it…

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Things That Make You Go Hmmm... "Run Maren Run!" 

I’m a slow reader.  I”m not sure why.  I think it’s a combination of, I simply don’t make time to read, and when I finally do read, one sentence can capture my attention, and if it “means” something to me, I’ll spend an hour lost in thought over it.  Kinda weird because typically I”m a “get ‘er done” type of person, but when it comes to books, I’m like, “uh yeah, I started reading that book in 1987….still not finished.” 

Anyhow, all that to say, after my mom died earlier this year I started reading a book…

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God Hates Me  

Sometimes it seems like we go through seasons of life where it’s one difficult circumstance on top of another.  As if we’re spiraling through a series of unfortunate events.  Yikes.  And often times, when one bad thing happens after another I find myself saying (half-jokingly, and half seriously) “God hates me”.  And if it weren’t for the fact that I KNOW the truth, I think I would be tempted to really believe that “God hates me”. 

“Seriously God, You could control these things but you’re not. You could…

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Seeking, Hearing, Confirming 

Some things I love about 1 Kings 3… 

SEEKING
  
Solomon has just become king, and he doesn’t know what to do, how to govern.  He’s seeks God by offering sacrifices in one of the local worship places.  The only problem with that is, God had only ordained certain places of worship as ones where the people could make sacrifices.  So, though Solomon’s heart for God was sincere, the way he chose to seek God was “sinful”. 
  
What I love about that is, God, though he never condoned the sinful approach, chose to answer…

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What Do You Want? 

It was going to be a two hour drive home, so in order to pass the time I turned on a podcast of a sermon.  In the sermon, the pastor was posing this question, 
 

“Why do you come to church?” 


He preached of the story of Bartimaeus, a blind man.  He sat begging by the side of the road, though he couldn’t see, he could hear that Jesus was getting ready to pass by him, so he was hollering out for Jesus.  “Jesus, son of David, have mercy on me!” 

Many around him kept telling him, “shut up”, but he called out…

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When Fear Of Death Grips You 

 "No one ever told me that grief felt so much like fear". C. S. Lewis


I don't recall, in my younger days, ever getting "wigged" out over death.  I don't think I even thought about it.  I don't typically worry about my own death, but the "fear" of losing loved ones can cause me to have an anxiety attack if I don't quickly reel in my emotions and thought processes, turning my thoughts toward God and trusting Him for all I will need regardless of what life brings.

I think when my brother died suddenly, it caused…Read more

is food my God or is God my God? 

Is food my God, or is God my God? Seriously, what do I look forward to more... time with Jesus? or time with a burrito? 

Doing a 21 day diet/fast makes me realize that I'm addicted to food. For me, food isn't just fuel for life, it's also a source of comfort, a source of joy, a source of social activity, and on and on.

When the disciples were focused on food, Jesus was focused on doing the will of the Father...

 "...he said to them, “I have food to eat that you know nothing about. Then his disciples said

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Draw Me Nearer... 

It seemed purposeful to me this morning when I opened up my devotional and saw that it was talking about Fanny Crosby.  I just recently finished a recording project, and all of the songs on it are songs that I've written, except for one...written by Fanny Crosby.  Because of that, she's been on my mind lately.  I've wondered about her, about her story, I just hadn't stopped to research her yet.

I never knew, until reading the devotion this morning, that Fanny was blind.  She lost her sight when she was six…Read more

A Place To Land 

This will be a place for me to land.  To share my thoughts, and stories about how I see and experience God in my life.  Writing is therapeutic for me, and I don't do it often enough!

So thankful to serve a God who is interested in every aspect of our lives.  He doesn't just want to hear about our day, but desires to spend it with us.

May we walk with Him continually.