It was going to be a two hour drive home, so in order to pass the time I turned on a podcast of a sermon. In the sermon, the pastor was posing this question,
“Why do you come to church?”
He preached of the story of Bartimaeus, a blind man. He sat begging by the side of the road, though he couldn’t see, he could hear that Jesus was getting ready to pass by him, so he was hollering out for Jesus. “Jesus, son of David, have mercy on me!”
Many around him kept telling him, “shut up”, but he called out all the louder, “Jesus, son of David, have mercy on me!”
So, Jesus stopped, gave the man his attention, and asked him,
“what do you want…”
The overriding theme of this sermon was, “what do you want?” And in this pastor’s message, he was specifically referring to, “why do you come to church, what do you want?”
But it left me pondering the question. If I was seeking Jesus, and Jesus literally were to ask me “what do you want?” What is it that I really want? What’s the deepest, most meaningful thing that I want?
For the last few weeks I’d been feeling led to read in 1 Kings. I have no idea why, but every time I’d go there, God would speak to me through it. The next morning I felt God telling me, “read the next chapter.”
So, I opened up my Bible to 1 Kings chapter 3. As I began reading, I prayed “Lord, please speak to me through this.”
Five verses in, I read this, “That night the LORD appeared to Solomon in a dream, and God said, “What do you want?”
Just a day prior those words had stirred deep inside me causing me to ponder that question, and here it is again. The first time it was a pastor asking the question that resonated deeply inside of me, but this time it felt like the question was directly from the creator of the universe…the creator of me asking, “Melissa, what do you want?
Well, let’s be honest, there’s a lot of things that I want, right?
I want to be healthy, happy, be provided for, I want my husband and I to always only have eyes for each other, I want my kids to know you and walk with you, a little more money would be nice, I want a long healthy life with my loved ones, oh yeah and a free trip to Hawaii would be great.
Like, for crying out loud, what is it that we want? What is it that I want? What’s the “root” thing that I want? When I thought about that, this is what stirred deep within me...
“I want to feel Your presence as I walk through each day of this life, not just 'head knowledge know that you are with me', but literally feel Your presence with me, guiding me, and I want to lead other people into your presence as well.”
That’s what I want.
Have you ever pondered the question?
What do you want?